Easter, Zombies, and Rebirth

Whatever you believe, there's something in the theme of rebirth for all of us.

Sex and Style is written by Somatic Sex Coach Sarah Ward. This is intended as general advice. If you’d like a personalized guidance, I’d be honored to connect with you in a discovery session.

Happy Easter, folks. Or as my friend calls it, Zombie Jesus day.

The story of the resurrection from the New Testament is political, tragic, and redemptive. Jesus hangs on the cross on Good Friday, then according to prophecy, is risen three days later. (For the record: Not sure what is so good about this Friday in history since the act of crucifixion is atrocious.

(Plus, the fact that Jesus was following the command of his father to be a sacrificial lamb means that he, too, has daddy issues. We’re all in good company here.)

Photo by Mikhail Nilov

When Jesus is risen, he first appears to a woman, Mary Magdalene, who may have been his secret bride. She doesn’t recognize him when he appears to her, and mistakes him as the gardener instead (evidence of zombie Jesus?).

Despite what you believe, the idea of resurrection and rebirth is a compelling one. The promise of resurrection was behind every ancient Egyptian prayer. This is a concept that we return to, again and again.

At this time of year in the Northern Hemisphere, the whole world comes back to life after the long night of winter. What was dead is made alive again.

The trees begin to bud. Flowering bulbs break the surface of the earth. Bears emerge from deep sleep with little cubs in tow. We celebrate the return of the light.

Two dear friends who suffered three miscarriages each, are well into healthy pregnancies — one boy, one girl. Their once empty wombs are now full of growing life.

Mama Gena tells the story of leaving her partner of many years, convinced that they would never have a future together. Two years later, after their own dark nights of the soul, they are newly engaged and having the love affair of their lives.

My teacher Jaiya experienced bed death in her relationship after the birth of their son. She was a sex goddess that wasn’t getting any. After developing the Erotic Blueprints, she realized that she and her partner had different blueprints entirely, which is why her lap dances and offers for blowjobs fell flat.

He was sensual. He wanted to snuggle and see where things went organically.

She was sexual. She wanted to fuck. (If you haven’t taken the free Erotic Blueprint test yet, take it now!)

Our stories are full of rebirth: in Beauty and the Beast, we see the literal transformation of the Beast into his true human form. Jean Grey dies and is reborn as Phoenix in the X-Men. In It’s a Wonderful Life, Jimmy Stewart’s character is on the brink of bankruptcy and suicide, then has a change of heart and relishes his life.

For every redemptive story of rebirth, there are many more that simply end. We’ve all suffered these endings.

I laid an 18-year marriage to rest last year.

While we were unbraiding our relationship, I took him to see John Mayer in Seattle where he sang “You’re Gonna Live Forever In Me”.

A great big bang and dinosaurs
Fiery raining meteors
It all ends unfortunately
But you're gonna live forever in me
I guarantee, just wait and see

Parts of me were made by you
And planets keep their distance too
The moon's got a grip on the sea
And you're gonna live forever in me
I guarantee, it's your destiny

Life is full of sweet mistakes
And love's an honest one to make
Time leaves no fruit on the tree
But you're gonna live forever in me
I guarantee, it's just meant to be

And when the pastor asks the pews
For reasons he can't marry you
I'll keep my word and my seat
But you're gonna live forever in me
I guarantee, just wait and see

We graduate from some relationships, and that’s something to celebrate, too. Even though some stories end, the memories live on. We become the keepers of each other’s stories.

Winter visits all of us. While the surface may look dead, there is life incubating below ground. In it lives the dream of a verdant summer.

Clarissa Pinkola Estes, PhD, refers to this as the Life/Death/Life cycle.

By mapping where we are in the Life/Death/Life cycle, we can not only parse what stages of development we might be in, and what we can likely expect to come next, but also to ever know that what energy has gone or taken its leave from us, will ever come back in different and new form…

and this is important to the heart of hope we all carry: that nothing is lost in the psyche, rather it is recycled, re-purposed, transformed, made new again.

Clarissa Pinkola Estes, PhD

May I be an example of rebirth. That love can flower again, even after the death of a great love levels you. Heartache is simply evidence that there was an abundance of love. If love found you once, it knows the map back to you.

Happy Easter. Enjoy your sacrament of bread and wine and chocolate bunnies.

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Sex and Style is written by Certified Somatic Sex and Relationship Coach and Wardrobe Stylist, Sarah Ward. She has spent the last 20 years studying human sexuality and minted it in 2021, certifying in the VITA™ Methodology with Layla Martin and as an Erotic Blueprints™ Coach with Jaiya. For personalized support, schedule a free discovery call with Sarah.

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