Making out as the main event
Kissing has plenty of health and relationship benefits all on its own.
When I was in Chicago recently, I witnessed a passionate kiss between lovers on the train platform. I caught myself staring. It was one of the most intimate things I’ve ever seen in public.
He folded his body around her, his hands on her face, giving every ounce of attention to his lover. She opened herself to receive him. Twenty feet away, their connection was palpable.
Who doesn’t love a good French kiss? As a little girl I was mystified by the mechanics of what I called the long kiss.
I knew what a simple kiss entailed. But a passionate kiss? What was the recipe?!
My friends had no idea either.
My parents were openly affectionate. I went to Chinese weddings where the bride and groom would kiss when spoons were tapped on glassware. I had seen plenty of kissing.
Growing up in the Mormon church, I was taught to save sex for marriage. So by the time I started dating, I thoroughly enjoyed kissing as a proxy for more.
One of the men I dated said, “My friends know you as 'Sarah the good kisser’. These are the best kisses I’ve ever had!”
You don’t avoid having sex for decades without getting good at kissing. Kissing was my main event.
Kissing triggers a chemical cocktail into the bloodstream (oxytocin, dopamine, serotonin) which generate feelings of euphoria. This helps to bond partners together and is associated with relationship satisfaction. Plus, it helps lower stress levels.
As we learn from the Kama Sutra, kissing is considered the most important sex act.
The act of kissing involves 34 facial muscles and 112 postural muscles, and kissing on the mouth is the closest you will get to the act of sex before the actual act (the mouth most closely resembles the sexual organs—the tongue is like the penis, the lips and cavity of the mouth resemble the yoni and its lips).
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If you needed another benefit, kissing will also help tone facial and neck muscles, promote circulation and give you a healthy glow.
You can learn a lot about physical compatibility with a potential partner through a kiss. If you have good chemistry and the kissing leaves you wanting more, this is a good sign.
The opposite can also be true. Pay attention! If you don’t particularly enjoy kissing someone, this may translate to them being an incompatible lover.