U coming for National Orgasm Day?

July 31 is National Orgasm Day! Of all the national days, this is one I can get behind.

For all the vulva owners reading this, you have the capacity to be wildly multi-orgasmic! Even though it takes women longer to warm up, once they do, look out!

Allow me to volunteer as tribute.

I lost track of the orgasms I had with my partner this afternoon. And before you hate me...

I have a proposition for you: let's redefine the word orgasm.

Orgasm refers to the finale of a sexual encounter, when one (or ideally both) partners climax. Orgasms often are accompanied by feelings of pleasure and may include ejaculate.

Before I get into this redefinition, let's look at the cultural context surrounding orgasm.

There is an orgasm gap that exists between the sexes (not unlike the gender pay gap). This means heterosexual women come significantly less than their heterosexual male counterparts.

Partnered women reliably orgasm with their partner more than single women who have casual sex.

Lesbian women experience more orgasm frequency than heterosexual women.

One perk of being a sex coach is all the juicy conversations I have with women.

Many women I speak to don't orgasm during partnered sex -- even though they enjoy sex. This is more common than we may think.

It's why women fake O's.

So back to the orgasm rebrand.

Anytime you experience peak states of pleasure during sex, consider this an orgasm.

You are tantalized by what your partner is doing to your ear? Orgasm.

You found a sweet spot in your self pleasure practice? Orgasm.

Your partner's tongue sliding south cause your toes to curl? Orgasm.

Let's create space to experience more pleasure and name it.

Instead of orgasm being a singular event, soon you'll be stringing together a strand of orgasms in each sexual encounter. You'll tap into an orgasmic way of being.

Rather than beating our bodies up for not delivering us more pleasure, let's recognize the pleasure we are having.

Pleasure is like gratitude. The more you recognize it, the more you have.

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I would love to hear it from you: how do you experience orgasm during sex? What does it feel like in your body? Leave a comment or email me!