Yeast: Destroyer of Pleasure
That thing that is part of a healthy vaginal biome... until there is a disturbance in the force.
A few weeks ago, during a sexy encounter with my lover on the stairs, sex unexpectedly felt like sandpaper.
That’s not normal.
I scheduled an appointment with OB, and a few days later, they took a culture to send to the labs.
By the end of the week, the lab confirmed that I tested positive for a yeast infection.
You may be aware that a healthy vaginal biome includes yeast. It’s when something throws the biome off that an imbalance can occur.
For example: Last month, I took a round of antibiotics for a UTI. While the UTI cleared up, my healthy biome cleared out, too. Enter yeast infection, stage left. Boo! Hiss!
If you’ve never had a yeast infection, consider yourself lucky. Three out of four women will experience a yeast infection in their lifetime, and 140 million women each year experience recurring YIs. To put it in perspective, 167 million women live in the United States. That’s nearly ALL of the women in this country.
Yeast is inflammatory by nature, so symptoms include feeling like your vulva was eaten — not by a lover — but by a swarm of mosquitos.
To get rid of a yeast infection is simple, but not always easy.
Here’s a few conventional methods, and studies show that they work about 90% of the time.
A. Take an anti fungal pill, like Diflucan… which sometimes works.
If it doesn’t, you’ll need a second script from your doctor for another round or two.
B. Do a seven-day run of anti-fungal creams in your vagina for a week… which sometimes works.
(Note: The one, three, or five day treatments aren’t as effective.)
And if it doesn’t, you’ll need another doctor's appointment to run some test to reevaluate.
In the meantime, your relationship with sex, alcohol, sugar, and carbohydrates should be reevaluated.
UGH. Yeast infections are like non-consensual Lent.
Cue Liz Lemon.
The things I would usually turn to for comfort and enjoyment have been nixed:
A long bath
yeast thrives in moist environments
A fun, sexy romp
every time you have sex, you introduce new bacteria to the area, which can further agitate irritated skin
A good latte
yeast feeds on sugar and caffeine is dehydrating
Eating my feelings
yeast feeds on carbohydrates
A glass of wine or two
alcohol will break down to sugar, which, as noted above, yeast loooves
What am I supposed to do for fun?! It’s been a no good, very bad time.
After a period of my forced Lent observance, I did a little digging. As it turns out, there is no correlation between diet and yeast infections. (Unless you have Type Two Diabetes.)
For whatever reason, the usual seven-day run of Monistat didn’t work this time. The irritation persisted.
After a second doctors appointment, the call came on Friday that I have a complex yeast infection. This strain of clever candida is apparently immune to Diflucan so they’ve recommended I try a new treatment plan:
Boric acid.
These suppositories are inserted into the vagina before bed for two weeks.
Important note: These are never to be taken orally; boric acid can be fatal if ingested.
That means you have to turn down any oral sex offers as well (LENT!) for the sake of your lover’s life.
Essentially boric acid removes excess moisture from the area treated, making the vagina a more uninhabitable place to live.
Byeee, yeasties!
Boric acid is a longer treatment plan than Monistat or Diflucan. And it may require up to a third week, with some maintenance in the coming weeks. We shall see.
If you do boric acid, be sure to have pantyliners handy, since there is generally some discharge throughout the day.
Have some vaginal wipes handy to help remove any crystalline discharge that you find on your vulva in the morning.
Goddamn it’s a lot of work to be a woman sometimes.
Mid-April Update!
Just wanted to close the loop and say that the pathologist report came back and the complex yeast infection has cleared! This is after 2.5 weeks of using the boric acid suppositories nightly. Intercourse is finally feeling good again! Thank the goddess!
It’s such a pleasure to have you here at Sex and Style! I’m a Certified Sex Coach that makes a safe space to explore and reclaim your desire. I hope you’ll stay a while. These posts are crafted with love and care, it would be an honor to be passed along to someone you love.
