Your Body Isn’t Broken — It’s Been Protecting You

be softer with you you are a breathing thing a memory to someone a home to a life – Nayyirah Waheed

Please be tender with this body of yours. She is entirely, unequivocally on your side. There is nothing she would not do to help you thrive. Even if that looks like numbing out and seizing up. Even if that looks like stretching and shrinking. Even if that looks like shutting down.

Your body isn’t broken — it’s been protecting you. 

The first season that I encountered somatic experiencing, I felt like I was meeting my body for the first time. How was it that I had lived within this robust and thriving ecosystem that was designed for me alone? How had I been with her all along and never truly known her? Seen her? Appreciated her? Embodied her? 

That day in Santa Fe, I met myself anew. As I unpacked a trauma that had brought me to my knees, there was a new presence in the room. I felt my body receive me. She seemed to say, ‘come, rest your weary head, I have you, let me protect you, it’s going to be okay.’ I had this sense of sinking and being received with such reverence and care. 

Was this the same body? How had I lived three and a half decades and never recognized her for who she was? This multi-dimensional creature that was ally, mother, healer.  

I was home. I had come home to my body

The funny thing about home is that you can yearn for it and never know that what you seek is already within reach. The secret? The thing that you desire is already yours. 

Your sweet body is sacred, supple, panoramic in scope. You were born into her without a user’s manual. You have learned by feeling in the dark how to operate her. You’ve read women’s magazines, gossiped with friends, and relentlessly compared her to other bodies. 

She has borne the brunt of your indignation. 

You happen to live in a world that is wildly unsafe for females and gender non-conforming humans. Your body has been measured for her usefulness, for her sexuality, and has perhaps been found wanting. Your body has likely been leered at, groped, and maybe even sampled without your permission. Your body is a battleground. 

Despite everything she has been through, it’s possible to come home. It’s possible to find safety in your skin again. 

So what does that look like? 

When we experience something that is deeply traumatic, a common trauma response is to dis-embody. This separation of self is designed to make you numb to what is happening. This dulling of the senses is a defense mechanism. Your body isn’t broken, she is trying to protect you. 

She’s waiting for you. She’s always been waiting for you. It’s time to come home. It’s time to claim your rightful place as sovereign. It’s your birthright. 

In case no one has told you lately — there is nothing wrong with you, and everything right with you.