Don't Let This Be the One That Got Away
Ways to turn up the heat this Valentines (read: cheeky Valentines, dirty haikus, and DIY boudoir tips from yours truly)
Sex and Style is written by Certified Sexologist and Somatic Sex Coach Sarah Ward. This is intended as general advice. If you’d like a personalized guidance, I’d be honored to connect with you in a discovery session.
Anyone else eating chocolate cake nonstop? Just me? 🍫
It’s that time of year again, when love is in the air, chocolate’s everywhere, and the pressure to do something for that special someone feels like a lot.
It might get you up in your feels: who wants Hallmark telling them how to love their person on Valentine’s Day?! Or be reminded that the only way to merit success on Valentine’s Day is to be partnered?? I feel you. It can bring up a lot.
It makes me wonder, though: how is your relationship with your body and your desire? When was the last time you thought about your wants and needs — and not everyone else’s?
In my line of work as a Somatic Sex Coach, I hear it a lot — how couples (even young couples) can drift into routine sex, without knowing quite how to reignite the spark, as hard as they try. They may only have sex once a month while she’s ovulating, with lingeries memories of how hot it was when they first began. But that’s just how sex looks once you’ve been in a long term relationship for a number of years… right?
Friends and lovers, it doesn’t have to be that way.
No one wants a sex life that is just “meh”. If this message feels like a mirror that is showing you how things have gotten stale (or non-existent) it might be time for a reset.
So, here’s a few playful resources to help get you in the mood for Valentine’s Day — if you celebrate. 💌
As a pressie from me to you, here’s some cheeky Valentine’s memes that you can download and shower on your lover
A naughty little challenge to get your creative sexy juicy flowing by writing dirty haikus (yes, you read that right)
A tutorial for your own DIY boudoir photos. If you wanna bring some playful energy back to the bedroom, this may help to spark it!
👉🏼 Cheeky Valentine’s
These aren’t your average Hallmark cards! I made 25+ cheeky Valentines memes you can download, print (responsibly) or sext to your lover. If you feel inspired by these and want to make your own, head on over to Canva to DIY your own sweet (or spicy) messages to let your lover know how much they mean to you.
Browse the Cheeky Valentine collection here! 👇🏼
👉🏼 Dirty Haiku Challenge
Why quote someone else’s poetry when you can make your own? Here’s the challenge:
Write your partner a dirty haiku—you know, something short, sweet, and spicy. Haiku poems follow a clear structure:
First line, five syllables
Second line, seven syllables
Third line, five syllables.If you're not sure how to start, here’s some examples that are bound to make you blush and get the creative juices flowing from dirtyhaiku.com:
Role playing tonight Naughty school girl and teacher Special detention
The dress was too short He told her it was just fine Then kept dropping things
Slap burn tingle moan She peers over her left shoulder Slap my ass again
Choke me she cries out A moan, a groan, her back arcs Face pressed against glass
The last man I dated before I met my love was a bilingual lawyer, and I loved writing him dirty haikus in Spanish. We had a spicy dynamic: I was the seductress, he, the good Catholic boy, and I loved every moment of trying to bring him to the dark side.
👉🏼 DIY Boudoir Challenge
If nothing says I love you like flowers, nothing says I want you like a sexy selfie. It doesn’t matter if you’re single or partnered, boudoir is a gift for you, boo!
The challenge is to find a well lit corner of your space, turn on some sexy tunes (I literally have a whole boudoir playlist for you), get yourself into something hottt 🥵 and set up your phone on a timer to capture photos of you as you feel yourself (that can be as literal as you want it to be!).
As a former model, this girl knows her angles, so I put together a little tutorial to help you learn your most flattering poses. Once you find your favorite pics (remember, you only need one or two!), gift these hot takes to a lover, or enjoy them for yourself.
👉🏼 Rekindle the Spark
While we’re on the topic of reigniting the flame, if you and your partner have stumbled into a bedroom rut, this is your friendly reminder that you don’t have to stay there.
That’s why I created Rekindle the Spark sessions for couples. As a certified Erotic Blueprints™ Coach, I lead couples through a proven system to help you rediscover both yours and your partner’s erotic terrain. The Blueprints™ have helped countless couples like you to breathe fire back into their romantic relationships, to experience the kind of sex and connection they’ve been craving.
In Rekindle the Spark, we’ll go on a somatic journey to uncover your Erotic Blueprint™, to recognize what you truly want, and learn how to communicate it with confidence—so that both you and your partner are seen, heard, and respected in ways you may have never experienced.
Here's What You Get:
Reignite the Spark Sessions: 3 private couples coaching sessions with me, where we’ll dive deep into your connection, desires, and sensuality, so you can reignite!
1️⃣ Session 1: Reconnecting Through Desire. Discover each other’s Erotic Blueprints™ to better understand what turns you both on—and how to communicate those desires with clarity and confidence. Uncover the deep layers of desire that have been buried under day-to-day life.
2️⃣ Session 2: Sensual Energy Activation. We’ll tap into the body, exploring tantra-inspired techniques to help you activate your sexual energy, increase connection, and feel more alive in each other’s presence.
3️⃣ Session 3: Reigniting Passion Through Play. Let’s have some fun! We’ll focus on rediscovering playfulness, intimacy, and desire through exciting exercises designed to bring the spark back.
✨ Special Sweetheart Deal! ✨
For my Substack ride or die crew I have a limited time offer at a sweetheart deal price—for 25% off! Because you all deserve it. If you’re ready to get back to curiosity and connection with your love, this could be the game-changer you’ve been looking for. Enjoy 25% off Rekindle the Spark and Intro to Erotic Blueprints using coupon code LOVER. The Sweetheart Deal expires Sunday, February 16 at 11:59pm.
Click here to grab your Rekindle the Spark sessions →
I’m teaching a 90-minute masterclass, Introduction to the Erotic Blueprints™ workshop on Saturday, March 8! Some people think they have to wait to be partnered to explore their erotic landscape, but nothing could be further from the truth! When you’re single, this is the perfect time to get to know yourself intimately so that you can initiate your partner into your lush lands.
Click here to grab your Intro to the Erotic Blueprints™ workshop →
I know life can get busy, and it’s easy to fall into a rut, but if you’ve been craving that deeper connection, it’s time to do something about it. This Valentine’s Day, why not treat yourself and your relationship to something extraordinary?
~romantic sigh~
This could be the Valentine’s love story you’ve been waiting for! 💌
All my V-Day love,
Sex and Style is written by Certified Somatic Sex and Relationship Coach and Wardrobe Stylist, Sarah Ward. She has spent the last 20 years studying human sexuality and minted it in 2021, certifying in the VITA™ Methodology with Layla Martin and as an Erotic Blueprints™ Coach with Jaiya. For personalized support, schedule a free discovery call with Sarah.
"The dress was too short
He told her it was just fine
Then kept dropping things."
Hahahahaha... funny enough. Valentines day is the one time in a year I don't worry about being dirty sexy. The season always strikes me as a time to be raw and dirty irrespective of my age. 😄😄