How to Take a Sexy Selfie
If nothing says I love you like flowers, nothing says I want you like a sexy selfie.
Sex and Style is written by Somatic Sex Coach Sarah Ward. This is intended as general advice. If you’d like a personalized guidance, I’d be honored to connect with you in a discovery session.
For over a decade, I’ve worked in the fashion industry. As an Editorial Stylist, not only did I style outfits, but also helped direct models on how to pose for the camera in a flattering way. My experience modeling helped tremendously!
Since we’re a week out from Valentines Day, I wanted to share easy tips for posing for a sexy selfie. Here’s a little video demonstration:
Lingerie by Natori.
First, let’s set your scene.
Set up your phone on a tripod. If you don’t have a tripod, grab a chair and a water bottle to prop your phone up against. When it comes to photos, your self-timer will come in handy!
Turn on some music to get you feeling yourself. What makes you want to move? Need some suggestions: Beyonce, Taylor Swift, Lizzo, Yseult. Here’s my sexy boudoir playlist!
Adorn yourself in something you love: a silk kimono, your favorite boyshorts and cropped tee, that red lingerie set that causes a five alarm fire — you know the one.
Be aware of the light, where it's coming from, and how it comes into the frame. Natural light is always a great way to go, you can always try a ring light as a back up.
Practice! Try posing in front of a full length mirror to see how it looks on your body.
Be so loving and gentle with yourself in this process. We can get in our heads about our waistlines and stretch lines and wrinkle lines. All you need is one good photo from a session, so delete all the pics you don't like.
In full transparency, the content that I shot for this tutorial took several takes.
I tried photos first and got all sorts of self conscious about how they turned out.
Got sad.
Then tried again when the light was magic.
Here’s your selfie posing tutorial in five steps!
1. Lean
Find something to lean up against. In my video, I leaned against my bed. You could do something similar with a sofa, a stair, or a chair.
The photos included are from a webcam boudoir session with my girl, Dana Kae Boudoir. During the height of Covid, masks, and social distancing, we got creative. Sadly she doesn’t offer webcam sessions anymore, though if you’re in Seattle, do yourself a favor and book a session with Dana!
Lingerie: Victoria’s Secret bra and Savage Fenty panties
2. Pop your hip
Girrrrl, you best exaggerate those lines your mama gave you! When you pop your hip, it will bring the attention to your curves. Even if you don’t have a Cardi B or Kim K body, this creates the illusion that you do. Photo shoot magic!
3. Point your toes
This will elongate your lines and make your legs look longer.
Lingerie: Thistle and Spire bra and Savage Fenty panties
4. Twist your torso
This will help create more dimension in your body so you aren’t just flat on to the camera.
5. Lift your chin
The body language of exposing your neck to someone is an act of submission. It also introduces an energy of confidence.
Lingerie: Victoria’s Secret bra and Savage Fenty panties
(Optional: 6. Send to your lover)
Whether or not you are coupled, or a seeking sexy company — you deserve to see a photo of you that puts you in absolute awe of yourself.
Full stop.
These photos don't have to be for anyone else but you, boo.
Do you have suggestions for taking sexy selfies? Would love to hear from you in the comments below!
Sex and Style is written by Certified Somatic Sex and Relationship Coach and Wardrobe Stylist, Sarah Ward. She has spent the last 20 years studying human sexuality and minted it in 2021, certifying in the VITA™ Methodology with Layla Martin and as an Erotic Blueprints™ Coach with Jaiya. For personalized support, schedule a free discovery call with Sarah.
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I used to love sending photos to my BF but now it just feels overwhelming. Thanks for the reminder that we can just take these for ourselves, too!
I've been in a bit of a self re-discovery process for the past few years.
It started with money, but I think it's definitely linked to self-image and self-confidence. Over the past few years, I've learned to purchase clothes that flatter me and make me feel amazing.
When I saw these photos, something in my heart glittered. I'm pretty afraid to try this, but mostly I think it's because I'm afraid of myself. What it would mean. I'm a "good girl." But there's definitely a part of me that would be so excited to try this. And, of course, send the photos to my husband. ;)