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Tom Van Valkenburgh's avatar

Your advice about consent and ENM and other things is spot on for any relationship, no matter how open or repressed the background of the participants. One cannot read this in too many places.

Based on TOTally unreliable information, I have read that the culture is more concerned with vaginal purity, specifically PIV. Anecdotally this means that if you want a partner skilled at and open to oral and anal sex, find yourself a Mormon. Like the gentile population this is doubtless along a wide continuum.

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Sarah Ward's avatar

Thanks for your kind words, Tom. It's true, we need a lot of exposure to this kind of information for it to deeply sink in.

"Find yourself a Mormon", that's cute! It may not necessarily be that the church prioritizes vaginal purity per se, but that horny Mormons find clever workarounds. Soaking as a workaround. Oral or anal play as a workaround. I got really damn good at kissing early on since other things were off the table!

Also, props to you for sliding gentile naturally into the conversation! Thanks for being here.

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Tommy Dixon's avatar

When I was a senior in high school, I dated a Mormon girl before I understood how their religion really works. The Mormon teens will do nearly anything and her family about lost their collective minds. Her older brother put his fist through a wall when he found out that his sister and I had sex. Which I thought was a bit over the top. The more hilarious thing was they actually were convinced that they could pray her virginity back. Oh the other stories I could tell.

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Lindsay's avatar

Loved these thoughts! I cannot wait to dive into all your posts. Reclaiming sex is a major priority in 2025. 🙌🏻

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Jennifer's avatar

It was pretty awful to watch.

They’re teens - or were. It’s like watching local high schoolers pretend to be adults.

Per usual, the girls are served up and sexualized … the men responsible are barely present. Guess whose futures and ability to retain custody of their children will be negatively impacted by this show?

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Sarah Ward's avatar

I feel that, Jennifer. Many of these women are in their late 20s or early 30s, yet it feels like high school.

It gives us a sense of the stunted growth and development of these women from growing up in a context that limited their body autonomy. If you're constantly told how to live by someone else then you don't get very good at making decisions.

It's hard to say how active the men are in their lives (or even the kids since they didn't get a lot of screen time), since there are producers and editors with their hands in the outcome. Thanks for chiming in.

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Jennifer's avatar

Many of them also married in their teens. Right around the time I was heading off to college and learning to live on my own. It’s a powerful documentary of how child /early marriage stunts female development.

My MIL was married off at age 15. It’s fascinating to hear her perspectives on feminism - the only topic that she is enraged and passionate about is outlawing child /teen marriage. It is at the crux of female oppression for her culture and worldview. And she moved heaven and earth to save her own children from it. In watching this sad reality show, I began to understand why.

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Sarah Ward's avatar

Yes. And especially how early motherhood stunts female development. And being in a very controlling conservative religion doesn’t encourage critical thinking skills. I’m still climbing my way out of that.

My grandma had an arranged marriage when she was 16, so shares a similar story to your MIL. She muses constantly about how her life could’ve been different otherwise. She was the smartest girl in the class, but at this time, didn’t have body autonomy or the option to go to university in Communist China.

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Sarina Zoe's avatar

So much whoa!!

I wanna watch this but I won’t cos I’ll get addicted 😂

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Sarah Ward's avatar

Truly, Sarina!! Lots to unpack.

It's so dramatic! My brother confessed he watched every episode too! So in case you need something to binge… 🥲

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Sarina Zoe's avatar

He did?! Was he like ‘fuck yeah!’ ?

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Sarah Ward's avatar

It sounded like he couldn't get enough! This is a Mormon moment we're having right now! 😂

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Still Rising's avatar

Growing up catholic and sensitive, shame is also known as ‘post nut guilt’

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Sarah Ward's avatar

Yup. That sounds just about right. Thanks for chiming in.

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Lane Anderson's avatar

I'm so looking forward to unpacking all of this with you on Saturday, Sarah!

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Sarah Ward's avatar

Couldn't agree more, Lane! I have my Diet Coke ready!

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