How flamenco dance helped me tap into my forbidden turn-on

“ Woman, keep your sensuality alive. Follow what sets you on fire and flames your spirit. Your s*xuality is your life force power. ... the living pulse of life; it's pure creative energy.”

- Tara Isis Gerris

When I was 18, I discovered flamenco dance.

This was before I had tapped fully into my eros: with my Mormon upbringing, the expectation was clear: no sex before marriage.

In my faith community, women played supportive roles. There were few female voices and fewer role models.

When flamenco found me, it was a gift from the universe on my 18th birthday. The women on stage were audacious, strong, sensual and expressive as they took up space. Walking out of the theater that day, I stood a little straighter. And I was hooked.

Flamenco gave me a model for how women could be.

Photo by David Victor Smith

Flamenco gave me a source to pour my eros into, a way to channel the forbidden fruit of my turn-on. Sensuality was accessible through dance.

Creativity is wildly seductive. And being embodied makes us feel alive.

My meditation teacher Emily Fletcher said in a recent podcast, “Sexuality is creation energy. What do you want to create in the world? You can create a baby or an empire.”

This month I attended the 36th Annual Albuquerque Flamenco Festival, the longest standing festival outside of Spain. It was my tenth Festival! The National Institute, where I study, brought in 93 guest artists from abroad to teach, perform and collectively blow our minds.

The stage was dripping with sensuality.

In the final scene of the opening show, a woman walks onstage wearing a mask and a beautiful gown that trails behind her. She undoes her dress, lets is slip off her shoulders and and stands before us in the nude like Aphrodite being born from the sea.

In the smaller, intimate tablao shows, you feel the potent energy between the artist and every member of the audience. We are eating out of their hands.

Dancers are lit from within with a vitality we all recognize. We can’t look away.

There are moments from this festival that will never leave me. Here’s a few by the Mexican photographer Farruk:

Flamenco Festival by Farruk

In flamenco, audience participation is encouraged through vocalization. You’ll hear the audience call out “Ole!” when they see something that moves them on the stage.

The Moors who wandered southern Spain for hundreds of years influenced flamenco sounds, bringing in the captivating Middle Eastern tones. The word ‘ole’ originates from the word Allah, or the name of God.

It’s moving to think that each time someone says ‘ole’, they recognize the divine.

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In the VITA Coaching Methodology I’m certified in, vocalization plays an integral role. When we sound, this is a way that the body knows it’s safe. Sounding allows you to embody your experience.

From a somatic perspective, breathing and sounding bring down the prefrontal cortex’s control. Sounding has the power to unlock and unleash your energy.

So let’s take a chapter from the flamenco playbook: if you see or experience something you like, sound your pleasure.

This can be as simple as a sigh, or as wild as orgasmic moans and screams… all in the right context, of course!

Here’s a little flamenco video of me dancing for your enjoyment — Ole!

Video and editing by David Victor Smith.