Sex and Style is written by Somatic Sex Coach Sarah Ward. This is intended as general advice. If you’d like a personalized guidance, I’d be honored to connect with you in a discovery session.
Do you ever get that nagging sense that something’s been holding you back from fully enjoying your pleasure? If pleasure seems like a foreign concept, you’re not alone.
For centuries, purity culture has tried to suppress the pleasure that is your literal birthright. It's time to rewrite that story. This Black Friday, you’re invited to reclaim your pleasure and your body—and step into a new chapter of empowered intimacy.
The United States was founded by puritans, deeply religious folks with strong feelings about what was pure, and what was decidedly not. They believed sexuality and pleasure were something to be managed, controlled, and often suppressed. Fast forward to today, and that mentality is still very much alive, deeply embedded in our attitudes toward sex and intimacy. Need proof?
Saving Sex for Marriage: I actually did, which may make me a unicorn in your eyes. Someone I had a crush on when I was a teenager was determined not to even kiss anyone until he was at the altar. While I [somehow] waited to do the deed, I enjoyed every kiss I could.
No-Nut November: The annual tradition where men challenge themselves to abstain from masturbation for a month. Why? No one really knows. Does it improve anything other than a guy’s ability to stay on a “bro challenge.”? 🤷♀️
Now, to put things in historical context: the U.S. was founded on the heels of some serious witchy business: the Burning Times and the Salem Witch trials. These events, steeped in religious fervor, targeted women perceived as sexually liberated. Purity was prized, and the punishment for deviating from it was severe.
So if you’re struggling to make your own sovereign choices about sex and pleasure, you’re up against centuries of social conditioning. Breaking free from this is no small feat.
Before the witch trials, many cultures were far more relaxed about sex. For example, in Ancient Greece, goddess worship was central, and sexuality wasn’t just a physical act—it was sacred and communal. Sacred sexual rites, including group orgies, were seen as rituals for connection and community.
We might think we invented sex, but it’s been around for forever.
So why does any of this matter to us today?
The puritanical hangover is still alive and kicking, and it’s wreaking havoc in the bedroom. Here’s how:
For Women: When women are taught that sex is about pleasing someone else (usually a man) and not about their own pleasure, it creates a lot of anxiety. We start worrying about how we look, how we smell, how we taste, and whether or not we’re "performing" correctly. For many women, that leads to faking orgasms or, worse, completely disconnecting from their bodies and their own pleasure.
For Men: A teenage boy is taught that masturbation is bad or shameful—especially if there’s even a chance his mom might walk in on him. Over time, his body starts to learn to rush through sexual experiences, leading to things like premature ejaculation. These become learned patterns that can persist into adulthood.
The good news? This is all learned behavior—and it can be un-learned.
Just like women can rewire their brains to reconnect with their bodies and rediscover what true pleasure feels like, men can retrain their bodies to slow down and savor pleasure. You can stop faking it and start feeling it.
This Black Friday, let’s throw out the shame and guilt.
What if, instead of buying another thing you’ll probably never use, you invested in something that actually matters—your own pleasure?
I’m offering some extra sweet deals, so you can start reclaiming your body, your pleasure, and your confidence. No more putting everyone else’s needs first—this is about you.
The Black Friday sales are in effect through Monday, December 2, 2024!
The Pleasure Collective
8-Week Group Coaching for Women
The Pleasure Collective is a space to reclaim your body’s innate joy and pleasure. For too long, we’ve been taught to doubt our bodies or believe we’re “too much” or “not enough.” Here, we rewrite that story. Your body is not the enemy; she is your ally.
Through this work, we’ll rewire your nervous system to feel more—more joy, more ecstasy, more life. Pleasure isn’t a fleeting sensation; it’s a practice that deepens over time. As you tune into your body, you’ll find that pleasure only gets better with age.
But pleasure is about more than just sensation; it’s about reclaiming your full range of experience. Life leaves residue that can cause us to numb out—both the good and the bad. In the Pleasure Collective, we clear these blocks, helping you open to ecstatic states without overwhelm. You’ll learn to feel deeply, safely, and fully.
Above all, The Pleasure Collective is a sisterhood. For too long, women have been pitted against each other, but in this space, we come together to heal and support one another. There’s enough for all of us—including you. When we gather in sisterhood, we tap into a collective wisdom that lights the way forward.
This is your invitation to step into a new way of being—embodied, empowered, and free, We’ll meet weekly for 2-hour sessions on Zoom starting January 15, 2025.
Exclusive Black Friday Offer: Lock in 2024 pricing for just $222! (2025 rates will double to $444!) Plus, when you sign up, you’ll receive a BONUS 1:1 Spark Session with me (a $222 value) to ignite your journey.
Ignite Sessions
5-Session Coaching Package
Are you ready to spark your pleasure and light the fire of transformation? The Ignite Sessions are designed for women, men or couples who want a powerful, short-term experience that sets them on a path to greater intimacy, confidence, and pleasure.
This package includes 5 one-on-one sessions that will guide you through deep insights, practical tools, and transformative exercises. Whether you want to break through blocks, reignite your sensuality, or explore new desires, the Ignite Sessions will help you spark your inner fire.
Black Friday Offer: Get 5 Ignite Sessions for $888 with coupon code FRIYAY (regularly $1111)—and get access to The Pleasure Collective for FREE (a $222 value)! Bonuses can also be gifted! Payment plans are available.
Closet Confessional
Spill the tea, clear the closet, find yourself.
Step into the Closet Confessional, where we’ll dive into your style choices (and probably a few other juicy details). This isn’t just a closet clean-out—it’s a revelation.
Together, we’ll declutter, ditch what’s not working, and unearth hidden gems you forgot you had. Think of it as style therapy—no judgment, just honest conversation.
Clothes carry memories, so there may be some emotions. But by the end, you’ll have a streamlined, authentic wardrobe—and a fresh, confident vibe to match.
Ready to confess? Book your Closet Confessional today.
Black Friday Offer: Get a half-day Closet Confessional session for $444 with coupon code FRIYAY (regularly $555) and get a Style SOS: Stylist on Retainer session FREE (value: $111)! This is perfect for trying to figure out what to pack on a trip, or what to wear to a wedding.
Don’t just take my word for it:
Since working with you, I feel more confident than I ever have sexually. You help me come to my own conclusions. You are the catalyst for more pleasure in my life. — Samantha, Dancer
Purging tangible items helped me shed intangible items, too. Every time I said goodbye to a pair of Lulu pants, I felt a little lighter, more energized. After intense purging, I felt a sense of lightness and renewal. Bliss.
— Hilary, Personal Trainer and Yoga Instructor
Ready to rewrite your story? Let’s get started.
Sex and Style is written by Certified Somatic Sex and Relationship Coach and Wardrobe Stylist, Sarah Ward. She has spent the last 20 years studying human sexuality and minted it in 2021, certifying in the VITA™ Methodology with Layla Martin, and as an Erotic Blueprints™ Coach with Jaiya. Sarah was personally mentored by one of 10 Certified Image Masters in the world. She has styled over 5000 photo shoots and dressed thousands of bodies. For personalized support, schedule a free discovery call with Sarah.
I’m so glad you’re here. If something about this resonated with you, please press the heart ♥️ button to help other people discover it, too. If this was supportive for you, please consider becoming a free or paid subscriber to keep posts like this coming.
Thank you Sarah for reminding us that we are still Goddesses. As you clearly stated, society and conditioning have unfortunately stripped us from our "birthright". But it's never too late to reclaim what has and will always be OURS.