Sensitivity is Your Superpower

In a world that praises the extroverted and arrogant, your sensitivity makes you sensational.

Sex and Style is written by Somatic Sex Coach Sarah Ward. This is intended as general advice. If you’d like a personalized guidance, I’d be honored to connect with you in a discovery session.

Have you ever walked into a party where you can just read the room? You might intuitively know who’s having a bad day (like the coworker faking a smile in the corner), and who’s feeling fantastic.

Your intuition wasn’t earned by reading emotional intelligence books. Nope! Science suggests that sensitivity may be in your genes.

How you grew up makes a big difference. If things were unpredictable when you were young, you probably learned how to read people and predict their moods to stay safe. Being sensitive became a way to anticipate what’s next and stay safely ahead of the curve.

Sensitivity, my friend, is your superpower.

Since sensitive people have nervous systems that are more prone to arousal (not just the sexy kind), they take in a lot of input and process it deeply. This can mean:

Licensed stock photo

• Crying at beautiful things. Being moved to tears by something like nature, an emotional film or a swelling symphony.

• Being an empath. You can feel what other people are going through.

• Tapping into your creativity. The rich inner world of yours lends itself to making music, writing and art.

• Reading between the lines and picking up on cues that other people miss.

• Exquisite attention to detail.

• Being capable of feeling incredible things before you are even touched by a lover.

Trust me when I say I get it. I’m a highly sensitive person myself. When reading the book The Highly Sensitive Person by Elaine N. Aron, Ph.D., I got so overstimulated that I had to put it down. It’s almost comedic. #truestory

Being a sensitive person isn’t always sunshine and rainbows though.

• You may hear sounds that others don’t. Like when the neighbor’s bass music kept you up at night and the cops couldn’t hear it or do anything about it? Yeah. That.

• When there’s a lot going on, you may be at risk for getting overstimulated. A chaotic day may leave you feeling anxious, on edge and overwhelmed.

• Information overload can lead to headaches or migraines. (The brain of sensitive people take in more stimuli than the average person.)

• Big crowds and loud music may be draining for you.

• Boundaries may become blurry. Because you care so much, saying no can be hard.

• You may struggle with decision-making. Ruminating on all the possible decisions and their outcomes can make it hard to pick one, leaving you in analysis paralysis.

Thankfully, down regulating can be simple: 

• Give yourself some unstructured downtime to help you recharge.

• Engage in meditation or mindfulness practices to help regulate your nervous system.

• Exercise, even just taking a daily walk, is a great way to release and sequence pent up, anxious energy.

• Give yourself a hug, or put your feet on the earth to ground your energy.

Photo by Darius Bashar on Unsplash, and licensed stock photo

Sensitivity can show up in all areas of life. Being sensitive can transfer to the bedroom, too.

• You might pick up on subtle cues from your partner, which can help you to anticipate their desires. Like a real life mindreader!

• Think of yourself as an emotional tuning fork. Since you can tune into their emotions, you can create a safe space for a lover to express and be vulnerable.

• You have the gift of heightened arousal. This sensitivity to touch, sound and the environment may help you get turned on! Exploring the different erogenous zones (besides the breasts and genitals) can help extend your foreplay and add variety. I love feather-light touch to get me in the mood.

Unfortunately, if you aren’t turned on enough, sensitivity can work against you. If my partner touches my clitoris before I’m thoroughly turned on, I may short circuit.

Photo by Cottonbro on Pexels

If you’re familiar with the Erotic Blueprints, this is quite common for Energetic types. (If you can relate, you too may have some Energetic in your stack! Find out by taking the free quiz below!)

The key thing to remember is that your sensitivity is a strength, not a weakness. Lean into your superpower, you don’t have to change who you are to belong! The world is better with you in it.

Sex and Style is written by Certified Somatic Sex and Relationship Coach and Wardrobe Stylist, Sarah Ward. She has spent the last 20 years studying human sexuality and minted it in 2021, certifying in the VITA™ Methodology with Layla Martin and as an Erotic Blueprints™ Coach with Jaiya. For personalized support, schedule a free discovery call with Sarah.

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Do you recognize yourself in these examples? I would love to hear how it lands with you!