The Relationship Myth You May Still Believe (Plus a sexy invite to an erotic ball! ₊.⋆🎭₊˚⁺)
Unlock your Erotic Persona™: A sexy adventure awaits
Sex and Style is written by Somatic Sex Coach Sarah Ward. This is intended as general advice. If you’d like a personalized guidance, I’d be honored to connect with you in a discovery session.
Have you ever felt like you were in a relationship with someone that you were sexually incompatible with? Maybe everything else was coming up roses… except that one [unavoidable] hot topic.
You may not like what I have to say (this was a hard pill for me to swallow, too), but hear me out:
Sexual incompatibility is a myth.
I used to think that sexual incompatibility was a deal-breaker in romantic relationships. I've left relationships like this after trying virtually everything.
But, here’s the truth:
You aren’t sexually incompatible with your partner.
Chances are, you’re speaking different erotic languages.
When I discovered the Erotic Blueprints™, I found a missing piece of the puzzle. Just like we have different communication styles and personality types, we also have our own erotic languages. And when we learn to speak each other’s language, the possibilities for pleasure are endless.
Imagine that you fell in love with someone who spoke French and you didn’t. Would you be willing to learn their language?
100%.
This is the same invitation when it comes to our sex lives. Do you speak the same erotic language as your partner? (It’s likely you don’t. We’re often attracted to others that complement and complete us in different ways.)
Would you be willing to learn to speak their language if it meant improving your relationship and sex life? (I hope the answer is yes. And so does your love!)
With the framework of the Erotic Blueprints™, you can map your own erotic terrain — and that of your lover’s. It can help you discover what sexy stimuli you like, and empower you to ask for what you want in the bedroom — and in life.
Because how you do one thing is how you do everything.
Are you willing to ask for what you want? This skill will serve you time and time again.
If you’re unfamiliar with the Erotic Blueprints™, think of it like a Myers-Briggs personality quiz for the bedroom. By taking a free test, you can find out your primary Blueprint. When you learn your erotic language, you can experience deeper and more fulfilling connection, better communication, and a satisfying sex life.
Having lived through a painful divorce, I was driven to gain these transformative tools that could prevent couples from this type of rupture of their own.
“But what if I don’t have a partner?” you may be asking. “Could this help me?” Yesss. Self knowing is foundational. It all starts with you. While it can be lovely to share with a lover, learning new skills now will prime you for when the opportunity arises.
As of this month, I am officially an Erotic Blueprints™ Coach! 🥂 *Ching ching*
If you’re curious to learn more, get on the waitlist for an upcoming Erotic Blueprints™ introductory workshop!
Your invitation to the Pleasure Island Experience
In October, my world-renowned Somatic Sexologist teachers Jaiya and Ian Ferguson are hosting a 3.5 day immersive experience called The Pleasure Island Experience in Denver. This is a transformational opportunity to learn from the best and explore these sexy topics in a fun and safe space:
Tantra
Sex Magic
Energetic Orgasms
Control and Surrender
Communication Magic
Sexual Health and Vitality
Empowered Erotic Persona™ Play
The Erotic Blueprints™ Experts are welcoming some exquisite guest speakers, including Mistress Damiana Chi, a PhD who runs the elegantly-appointed Chi Temple, hailed as “the most beautiful dungeon in LA”. Who better to learn dominance and submission from than a dominatrix?
The event culminates with the Bal Erotique where everyone gets to show up in their Erotic Persona™ of choice. Think about it. When you put on a costume, doesn’t it change something about how you move through the world? Think of this like shamanic shapeshifting: you get to try on a new persona as a way to heal parts of you that you’ve disowned.
Case in point. Over the years, my darkness felt off limits to me. Growing up, I was a rebellious and confrontational teenager, who went toe to toe with my parents endlessly. As I grew up, I gradually muzzled that tenacious part of me: the shadows, and superpowers alike.
And yet, it came out loud and clear in my costumes. Handmade headdresses and mistresses with a dark streak are kinda my thing. These characters owned their darkness.
During the Erotic Blueprints™ Coach event I attended over the summer, Ian led us in an exquisite evening of dropping into the body through dance. This wasn’t just any dance party. With a killer playlist, we were invited to embody each Blueprint on the dance floor.
Since so many women have the experience of being groped and harassed when out dancing (myself included!), the Bal Erotique is a strict no-touching dance party. This way women and men alike can feel safe to be fully expressed in all of their exquisite embodiment.
I’ll be at The Pleasure Island Experience on October 17-20 in Denver, CO in all my Shapeshifter glory. I’m already dreaming and scheming my outfits and costumes. 🤤
Curious about a transformative retreat focused on sexual wellness?
If you’d like to be on a waitlist for an upcoming Erotic Blueprints™ introduction, sign up here!
Not sure who needs to hear this today, but…
"You are not broken. There is nothing here to fix. You are whole and complete just the way you are. Everything is perfect just the way it is. When we are whole and complete, it's all play.”
—Jaiya
Sex and Style is written by Certified Somatic Sex and Relationship Coach and Wardrobe Stylist, Sarah Ward. She has spent the last 20 years studying human sexuality and minted it in 2021, certifying in the VITA™ Methodology with Layla Martin and as an Erotic Blueprints™ Coach with Jaiya. For personalized support, schedule a free discovery call with Sarah.
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Wow there’s so much to say about this Sarah! First, your costumes OMG 😍😍 you really went there!
No touch dance, yep, I’ve stifled my expression in dance from being groped, coming home to wilder, uninhibited ways, dance by dance.
Erotic blueprints coach congrats 🎉🎉🎉
Late to this post. I will take your little quiz, Sarah 😅 (and probably write about it). Because goodness, this is a hard topic for me. I'm assuming it would be helpful if my partner took it as well... ???