Sex and Style

Sex and Style

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Sex and Style
Sex and Style
Yesterday would have been our anniversary

Yesterday would have been our anniversary

A love letter to the life we shared.

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Sarah Ward
Sep 03, 2024
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Sex and Style
Yesterday would have been our anniversary
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Photo by Laura Gehring

Sex and Style is written by Somatic Sex Coach Sarah Ward. This is intended as general advice. If you’d like a personalized guidance, I’d be honored to connect with you in a discovery session.

I wrote this last year and was so overcome with grief that it was clear I wasn’t ready to share.

Yesterday would have been our 18th wedding anniversary and a 22-year-long romantic relationship. The longest romance I’ve ever had — besides the one with myself.

This marriage is officially old enough to move out and go away to college.

Instead, we are finalizing the divorce papers.

It’s a hard pill to swallow.

In this relationship I became the woman I am.

This marriage was a vehicle. It took us places faster than we’d have gone on our own.

It was a laboratory of becoming.

In it, I found my footing. I learned to surrender into love, into the care and stability of the masculine. I waded deep into pleasure. I had spaciousness enough to form my own opinions and make decisions — even when they hurt.

Despite the decrescendo of love and the dissolution of the marriage, I retain the love.

Love and safety were gently hardwired into my nervous system. My perpetual anxious attachment style was soothed in secure love.

I feel blessed to have been loved by this man for as long as I was.

On the other side I know that longevity isn’t the only marker that matters in love.

Look where I landed. Look where he sweetly deposited me for my second act.

Sex and Style is a place where I write vulnerably on the topic of sacred sexuality and embodied style. Join hundreds of other people on their journey to reclaim the erotic.

A Hymn for the Grieving During the Holidays

A Hymn for the Grieving During the Holidays

Sarah Ward
·
December 25, 2023
Read full story
Leaving Eden. Photo by Laura Gehring.

Divorce is like someone died, except no one brings you food or flowers.

Without a ritual that exists for divorcees to mourn with loved ones, the heavy grief is carried mostly alone, behind closed doors.

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