Such a great list, thank you Sarah. In my early post-divorce dating days eight years ago, I was ignorant at the time of some of these signs. Scent, for example. But in retrospect I spent more time with people who I must’ve matched up with in terms of pheromones. And my long term partner now, I just love smelling every delicious part of him!
Rebecca, thank you for your kind words! I'm so glad it resonated with you. It sounds like your body intuitively led you to a wonderful match for you! The things our bodies know and then our consciousness catches up to later. 😅
Yesssss! Love this so very much. I've been out of the dating game for a bit and ready to mingle again and find these all SO true and helpful. 🙏❤️ (((And, the t-shirt scent test is SO fascinating. And, so interesting that women on birth control cannot smell that. Another reason why I think it's so sad to me that it's so normal for women to take a pill that massively fucks with their body. 😢)))
Great list. The orgasm one, that guy is a moron. The smell one is similar to choosing your type of perfume. There are scents that make you wrinkle your nose and want to move on to the next smell. I’ve always talked to my son about dating and sexuality from a young age. I would talk to a daughter just as openly if I had one as well.
Thanks for this Sarah, I’m slowly working my way back from the end of a long term relationship and much of your advise resonates with my experiences so far as well as offering some insight into perhaps why things haven’t progressed at times.
Chris, thank you for your kind comment. I see you, putting the pieces back together again after the ending of a significant love. I hope that you’re finding pockets of peace along the way. We’re all a work in progress, I’m glad that this piece resonated with you. Glad to have you here.
It’s kind of sad that we need to remind people of all these tips…I believe parents should talk about everything in this list before their children start dating…thanks so much for sharing! 🩶
You bring up an excellent point, NEMM Design! So many of are parents haven't yet been initiated into their knowing, whatever that looks like, so many of us have to create our own map on the other side. Thanks for being here!
Great list! But I do have to say...if I ever discovered that someone canceled on me, not because they actually needed to cancel but as a "test"....whew, that would definitely be a red flag.
As someone who has to take the mini pill to assist with the symptoms lifelong chronic illnesses, DEVASTATED that I’ll not be able to explore that intuitive scent response - but this is so lovely and feels encouraging to read as someone taking time for myself alone for a while, for things to think about when I’m ready to date again.
Woman of Salt -- what an exquisite publication name and moniker! It's an honor to have you here, thank you for your words! Ahhh, I'm so disappointed for you in not having the chance to explore your intuitive scent response! And. How grateful I am for a world where we have medicine to support chronic illnesses.
If and when you're ready to date again, give this piece a bookmark so you can come back to it for a refresh!
Have you had good feedback from that? (I really want to know) The reason I ask is that when I was on the datings apps, if there was a “hey” or “what’s up” message without any context or personality visible, I had a difficult time knowing how to respond.
Ummmmmm, you do understand that I was being facetious, right?
If I'm on a dating app, I read whatever information is offered on a woman's profile and, if I choose to write, I do so thoughtfully.
If all you're getting from someone's greeting is "hey" or "what's up" You should probably just hit delete, they don't care enough to find a reason that they actually WANT to communicate with you. The guys that do one word openers are just playing a numbers game and they're not worth your time.
Hey Mark, since it can be challenging to read sarcasm, I wanted to clarify! Phew!
I couldn’t agree more with your approach and suggestion to delete and move on when the first message is a blasé “hey”.
Fun fact: I met my current partner on an app and he followed the same playbook you suggested. It was a thoughtful message that took me as a person into consideration. Many years later, we have that initial thoughtful message to thank for it.
Salma, I hear that sexual liberation is important to you -- it certainly paved the way for us to make the choices that we do about our bodies now. I'm curious what was offensive about it for you. Being sexually empowered can look a lot of different ways, even across the arc of one woman's life.
Such a great list, thank you Sarah. In my early post-divorce dating days eight years ago, I was ignorant at the time of some of these signs. Scent, for example. But in retrospect I spent more time with people who I must’ve matched up with in terms of pheromones. And my long term partner now, I just love smelling every delicious part of him!
Rebecca, thank you for your kind words! I'm so glad it resonated with you. It sounds like your body intuitively led you to a wonderful match for you! The things our bodies know and then our consciousness catches up to later. 😅
Such a great way to put it - the things our bodies know and our consciousness catches up with!
Yesssss! Love this so very much. I've been out of the dating game for a bit and ready to mingle again and find these all SO true and helpful. 🙏❤️ (((And, the t-shirt scent test is SO fascinating. And, so interesting that women on birth control cannot smell that. Another reason why I think it's so sad to me that it's so normal for women to take a pill that massively fucks with their body. 😢)))
This was lovely. Thank you!
Danusia, thank you for saying so. The pleasure is mine!
Ashé. This is a great piece. I’ve done some of these things without realizing I was doing them.
Thank you, Rachel. I'm so glad this landed well with you. Welcome.
Great list. The orgasm one, that guy is a moron. The smell one is similar to choosing your type of perfume. There are scents that make you wrinkle your nose and want to move on to the next smell. I’ve always talked to my son about dating and sexuality from a young age. I would talk to a daughter just as openly if I had one as well.
Thanks for this Sarah, I’m slowly working my way back from the end of a long term relationship and much of your advise resonates with my experiences so far as well as offering some insight into perhaps why things haven’t progressed at times.
Chris, thank you for your kind comment. I see you, putting the pieces back together again after the ending of a significant love. I hope that you’re finding pockets of peace along the way. We’re all a work in progress, I’m glad that this piece resonated with you. Glad to have you here.
It’s kind of sad that we need to remind people of all these tips…I believe parents should talk about everything in this list before their children start dating…thanks so much for sharing! 🩶
You bring up an excellent point, NEMM Design! So many of are parents haven't yet been initiated into their knowing, whatever that looks like, so many of us have to create our own map on the other side. Thanks for being here!
Thank you!
Absolutely all this, so smart! Great advice for those that need it.
Thank you, Valerie, for your kind words! It's a pleasure to have you here.
Great list! But I do have to say...if I ever discovered that someone canceled on me, not because they actually needed to cancel but as a "test"....whew, that would definitely be a red flag.
That's a fair point, Becoming the Rainbow! In fact, my partner just said something similar. Thank you for sharing this perspective.
As someone who has to take the mini pill to assist with the symptoms lifelong chronic illnesses, DEVASTATED that I’ll not be able to explore that intuitive scent response - but this is so lovely and feels encouraging to read as someone taking time for myself alone for a while, for things to think about when I’m ready to date again.
Woman of Salt -- what an exquisite publication name and moniker! It's an honor to have you here, thank you for your words! Ahhh, I'm so disappointed for you in not having the chance to explore your intuitive scent response! And. How grateful I am for a world where we have medicine to support chronic illnesses.
If and when you're ready to date again, give this piece a bookmark so you can come back to it for a refresh!
I have saved this piece for just that reason - thank you for such a kind response!
As a man who loves to please women, this is wonderful advice and insight. Be real, sincere and have fun!
Question #10. Are they allergic to Chlorofun?
Jokes aside, the pheromone thing is accurate.
Such a great list!!!
Thank you so much, Kimberlee! It's a pleasure to have you here.
The first one being, “Sup?”
Have you had good feedback from that? (I really want to know) The reason I ask is that when I was on the datings apps, if there was a “hey” or “what’s up” message without any context or personality visible, I had a difficult time knowing how to respond.
Ummmmmm, you do understand that I was being facetious, right?
If I'm on a dating app, I read whatever information is offered on a woman's profile and, if I choose to write, I do so thoughtfully.
If all you're getting from someone's greeting is "hey" or "what's up" You should probably just hit delete, they don't care enough to find a reason that they actually WANT to communicate with you. The guys that do one word openers are just playing a numbers game and they're not worth your time.
Hey Mark, since it can be challenging to read sarcasm, I wanted to clarify! Phew!
I couldn’t agree more with your approach and suggestion to delete and move on when the first message is a blasé “hey”.
Fun fact: I met my current partner on an app and he followed the same playbook you suggested. It was a thoughtful message that took me as a person into consideration. Many years later, we have that initial thoughtful message to thank for it.
Salma, I hear that sexual liberation is important to you -- it certainly paved the way for us to make the choices that we do about our bodies now. I'm curious what was offensive about it for you. Being sexually empowered can look a lot of different ways, even across the arc of one woman's life.