Finding Love Where It Matters Most
The most important relationship you'll ever have is with yourself. Save some of the good stuff for you!
It’s that day of the year that you either adore or despise and I’m not sure which it is for you. Neither is right or wrong.
Part of me loves having a day dedicated to love and eroticism. Here’s to sexy massages and red lingerie and feeding one another fruit and writing poetry about your love.
And another part of me thinks that mandating love takes the spontaneity out of doing something sweet and sexy for yourself or your love. No, I will not buy flowers today!
Shouldn’t love be part of every day?
Regardless of how you feel about today, may the record show:
In case you need to hear it twice to let that sink in…
You are a marvel. There is no one else on the planet that feels like you. Kisses like you. Tastes like you. Loves like you. Fucks like you. You’re truly one of a kind.
The most important relationship you’ll ever have, will be with yourself. Is this a relationship you're excited to show up for? Is it one that you prioritize? Save energy for?
In this life, you’ll spend every moment in your own company. Let it be a sweet, supportive and sensual to live in that body of yours.
May you be the kind of love you’ve always craved.
Over the weekend, I did mini coaching sessions at a local boutique. One woman said she loved the sex she had with her boyfriend, though confessed it was pretty much the same every time.
As I gave her a few suggestions of ways she could turn up the heat, she said she wasn't comfortable wearing lingerie.
Have you felt that too?
We can get helllla self conscious about our bodies — even if to someone else, there’s nothing to be self-conscious about.
And while our lovers and friends can shower us with compliments, it won’t change the way we feel about ourselves. That’s an inside job.
Here’s something you can do to create a more loving relationship with yourself and your body:
Mirror work
Step 1: For five minutes each day, look at your reflection in the mirror.
This exercise can be in a full length mirror to work on body image, or to your face in a bathroom mirror.
Step 2: Making eye contact, start to say kind and loving, even sexy things to yourself that you wish that other people would tell you.
For example:
Look at how you glow. You are radiant!
You have such incredible sensuality in your body
I love how comfortable you are in your own skin.
You are a sex goddess / god / godex!
You get the idea.
Step 3: To help anchor these beliefs into your body, I recommend using the butterfly hug.
Step 4: Repeat daily for a week and see how you feel!
Write yourself a love letter
Here's another self love exercise. Get some nice stationery or a card and write yourself a love letter 💌
If you want to make this more erotic, write your pussy or your cock a love letter. Tune into the energy of your eros and listen. What are you grateful for? What does your hoo ha want to hear from you? Here’s a starting point…
Dear Pussy,
Thank you for your infinite wisdom. You are a portal to the divine. You are a channel. Talk about strength: you can bleed for a week and not die. Your rhythm mirrors the circadian rhythms of the moon. You are connected so deeply to the goddess herself. You know exactly how to lean back and let your lover come to you. Your willingness to open and receive and provide pleasure abounds.
Love, Sarah
Whether or not you are partnered today, you have a lover to come home to. You have someone who wants to know how your day was. Someone who will rub your feet and make you dinner and pour you a glass of wine. Someone to get dressed up nice for.
Happy Valentines day, darling. Here’s to love, especially the love that lives in you.
Thank you for reading Sex and Style, it’s a pleasure to have you here! Did you resonate with this post? Please like and subscribe, and consider sharing it with someone you think would like it, too. These posts are infused with love and care and it would bring me joy for them to reach more like-minded people.
