The Truth About Waistbands and Your Pelvic Floor
The surprising way your clothes impact your physical and sexual well-being.
Sex and Style is written by Somatic Sex Coach Sarah Ward. This is intended as general advice. If you’d like a personalized guidance, I’d be honored to connect with you in a discovery session.
Let’s be honest. We all love a good pair of jeans that hug our curves perfectly. (Whether you’re the wearer or the observer!) But what if that perfect fit is secretly impacting your pelvic floor and your sex life?
Hold on. What is the pelvic floor again? I know I have one, but…
The pelvic floor is a series of hammock-shaped muscles that hold the reproductive organs, bladder and bowels. A functioning pelvic floor does five key things:
Supports the reproductive organs
Stabilizes the core
Supports healthy sphincteric function, allowing you to eliminate with ease, while preventing leakage of urine and feces
Supports sexual function and orgasm
Circulates blood back to the heart
So what’s your waistband got to do with the pelvic floor?
Women wear all sorts of fitted clothes—tight yoga pants (*cough* yeast infection), tight dresses, tight jeans—that inhibit our breath and create tension in our pelvic floor. This can lead to a variety of issues:
painful sex
vaginismus
incontinence
prolapse
The list could go on. For the sake of keeping the mood light, I’ll stop.
When we wear tight clothes, that means we’re taking shallow, superficial breaths from our upper chest cavity, not from the diaphragm. Deep diaphragmatic breathing helps to relax the pelvic floor. And relaxation is an absolute must for great sex.
When you orgasm, the pelvic floor muscles produce rapid, rhythmic muscle contractions, leading to the sensation of physical pleasure. But if your pelvic floor muscles are too tight, it’s difficult for them to contract—making it much harder for you to orgasm. Conversely, when those muscles are too weak, you might find it harder to feel the orgasm.
Breath is the first step in supporting your pelvic floor.
Here’s the through line:
Liberate your breath → liberate your pelvic floor → liberate your sex
It all starts with breath.
Our culture loooves tiny waists and powerless women.
You deserve to have clothes that FIT. The sizing number on your clothes is irrelevant. What’s important is your comfort. Even if that means going up a size.
Last year I turned 40 and as I age, my weight is being distributed differently. When I get dressed these days, the pants that have fit for years are now too tight. While annoying, I’m trying to see the reframe. This means it’s I have permission to go shopping.
Let’s breathe together
Let me teach you a breath that I learned from my Pelvic Floor PT called diaphragmatic breathing. The diaphragm is a muscle located underneath your ribcage and heart that helps you to breathe. Diaphragmatic is a fancy way of saying involving your diaphragm.
Here’s how it goes:
Assume child’s pose
When you inhale, imagine your lungs expanding in all directions. The lower ribcage should expand in kind
See if you can send your breath down into the pelvic floor. The accompanying sensation is bearing down, or pushing out, and is an active lengthening of your pelvic floor.
When you exhale, allow the lungs and ribcage to deflate naturally
Try not to force your breathe. Allow yourself to be breathed.
Clothes that support your breath
Let’s find clothes you can wear that will support your ability to breathe, which will support your pelvic floor, and the quality of sex you’re having.
Dresses are a one-piece outfit. It makes getting dressed a no-brainer.
Here’s some of my favorite dresses from the Quince spring line. Quince produces sustainably made clothing that are affordably priced.
Women’s bodies are in a constant state of flux throughout a given calendar month. Having clothes that can flex and flow with you supports your overall health and well-being. And when it comes down to it, having clothes that fit is a basic human right.
Sex and Style is written by Certified Somatic Sex and Relationship Coach and Wardrobe Stylist, Sarah Ward. She has spent the last 20 years studying human sexuality and minted it in 2021, certifying in the VITA™ Methodology with Layla Martin and as an Erotic Blueprints™ Coach with Jaiya. For personalized support, schedule a free discovery call with Sarah.
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Thirsty for more? I got you, babe.
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I love how you’ve stitched sex with style here, how perfect! Yes to dresses they really take the stressing out of dressing! X
This feels so true! I find my body is getting less tolerant of constriction as I age; the tightness of bra straps on my ribcage gives me the same sensation of restricted anxious breathing! Thanks for the suggestions, Sarah, your posts are always so enlivening.