The Pussy is a Portal
Disclaimer: I use the word pussy in this essay. That word might make you uncomfortable, and if it does, I invite you to sit with it and see what you can learn about yourself.
Sex and Style is written by Certified Sexologist and Somatic Sex Coach Sarah Ward. This is intended as general advice. If you’d like a personalized guidance, I’d be honored to connect with you in a discovery session.
Vashti Venari, a luminous writer here on Substack, announced the recent arrival of her son.
“My son arrived earth side & it has been solidified to me that women are gods, end of discussion.”
The Pussy is a Portal
Every human on the planet comes through a womb, and in order to be born, is moved through the birth canal / vagina, when it emerges into the world. (The exception? Cesarean deliveries).
The vagina has a process called tenting, where it lengthens and extend during arousal. This is facilitated through relaxation and blood flow, and it allow a penis or toy to enter. In the case of childbirth, tenting plays a role, though the cervix (the barrier between the vagina and the womb) dilates significantly to allow the baby to pass through.
When I stop to marvel at birth and consciousness and the arrival of new life on the planet, it boggles my mind. The pussy is nothing short of cosmic, mysterious, and other worldly. Anything less does not do the female body justice. Period.
The word pussy, however, is hurled as an insult. It’s a derogatory, vulgar term.
Pussy is arguably the most powerful pejorative word in the English language. It is the ultimate salacious smack to a woman’s dignity, used when the intention is to hurt, humiliate, and fracture her humanity.
There is no woman alive who has not had her pussy defiled or discriminated against, in some way. Belittlement. Gender discrimination. Rape. Molestation. Income inequality. The necessity for Title IX.
— Mama Gena
While it’s been used as the vilest of insults, pussy is a word that women and vulva owners are reclaiming. The pussy is the seat of a woman’s life force energy, her power, the source of life itself.
Our culture heaps tremendous body shame upon women and gender non-confirming beings. If we learn to shame ourselves at an early age, then the patriarchy has less work to do to control us. This internalized oppression can lead to feelings of guilt, shame, and worthlessness, and can be debilitating — especially since it comes from within.
There is an entire industry that profits from our feelings of inadequacy about our genitalia. Douching, scented soaps, scented panty liners, scented tampons are designed to “improve” smell — all of which can disrupt the delicate biome of the vagina; shaving, waxing, sugaring, and surgical procedures like labiaplasty are promoted to make the labia more palatable for the male gaze.
Yes, the vagina has a smell. No, it’s not meant to smell like a flower.
We have forgotten that we are holy. That we are a literal embodiment of the goddess. Since we have forgotten together, this means we can remember together as a collective.
And now — a word from our sponsors:
Writing Sex and Style is part of my work as a Sexologist and Somatic Sex Coach . My purpose is to provide accessible sex education, especially in a time where access to accurate information is becoming more and more difficult to come by.
So, if you are moved by what I write, I invite you to become a paid subscriber for $8/mo or $80/year to help fund my work. This is what I do full-time, and your contribution means the world. It keeps these posts coming, and hopefully you cumming, too.
You’ll gain exclusive access to a growing library of resources, including:
eBooks like The Pleasure Manifesto
Q&A
Workshops with me, like MORgasm
The satisfaction of knowing that you’re funding a BIPOC woman of color in doing the work she is meant to in the world ♥️
Vulvas throughout History
If we look back through human history, it is resplendent with vulva worship and art. The vulva was revered as a symbol of fertility, creation and life.
The Ancient Sumerians worshiped goddesses like Innana, the patron goddess of love, sensuality, fertility and war. The Sumerians wore amulets shaped like vulvas for protection and fertility.
In Ancient Greece, the Oracles at Delphi were known as Pythia and were female. Men made pilgrimages to visit the Oracles to seek their spiritual counsel. The site where the Pythia prophesied was said to be sacred, and there are some scholars who suggest that the tripod where the Pythia sat may be a symbolic representation of the vulva.
In India and Hinduism, the yoni (Sanskrit word for vulva) is revered as the source of creation.
Throughout the world, indigenous cultures have ancient traditions that honor the vulva as the source of life and power. Some cultures even believe that flashing the vulva can bring good fortune or ward off evil spirits.
Psychedelics vs. sexuality
Pussy owners are capable of having experiences that rival the mysticism of mushrooms and the psychedelic compound psilocybin with a regular clitoral orgasm. YES. YOU READ THAT RIGHT.
There’s fascinating research out of Johns Hopkins University by Roland Griffiths, a psychedelic researcher, who found that clitoral stimulation can induce experiences similar to those associated with psilocybin (the active compound in magic mushrooms).
In a study, women who engaged in 15 minutes of manual clitoral stimulation reported mystical experiences, including shifts in mood, a sense of ineffability (the feeling that words cannot capture the experience), and a sense of sacredness.
These results were so striking that the participants who reported a complete mystical experience actually outnumbered those in a study of psilocybin (62% to 56%)1, suggesting that something as simple as clitoral orgasm can induce profound and transformative states of consciousness.
So, roll the dice on your medicine of choice and chances are you, you’ll find yourself in similar territory.
Your body is totally normal — yes, even yours.
I remember the first time I looked between my legs and thought, “This must not be normal…” As a teenager, I remember worrying what a future partner would think, and what I would have to do to be appealing to him. At this point, I hadn’t even seen porn with surgically altered neat little labias. But I worried, nonetheless.
Looking back on this younger version of myself, I have a lot of compassion for her. Because how would I have known otherwise? It’s not like I grew up in a body-positive nudist colony where I had exposure to all manner of women’s bodies and was taught that they were all beautiful and perfect, just as they are. That was not my experience.
However, we’re seeing all sorts of incredible resources emerge to help normalize women’s vulvas and prevent body shame. Here’s a few favorites:
The Great Wall of Vagina by Jamie McCartney
There is a wide world out there that will tell you that there’s something wrong with your body: how it looks, how it smells, how it feels. Plenty of women and vulva owners can get in their heads about this, which tragically prevents them from being able to enjoy their bodies as a source of profound pleasure. Instead of experiencing their bodies, they are observing their bodies.
As a Sexologist, I’m here to say that your pussy is distinctly unique — like your own personal erotic fingerprint.
The way you smell and taste will vary, according to where you’re at in your menstrual cycle. This is perfectly normal, and I encourage you to get familiar with how you smell and taste, so that you can recognize when something is off.
With the delicate vaginal biome, noticing an unusual discharge or fishy smell is a clue that the pH has shifted and an infection may be present. If you notice this, schedule an appointment with your gynecologist for testing so you can return to balance.
Your body is sacred. You get to be discerning about who you share your body with. Those who believe that you need to alter your body to be more appealing to them don’t deserve access to you.
As we reclaim the word pussy and rewrite the narrative around our bodies, sexuality, and sacred power, please remember that you’re worthy of awe and pleasure alike. Your body isn’t an object to be consumed or judged — it is a literal portal to the divine.
Sex and Style is written by Certified Sexologist, Somatic Sex and Relationship Coach and Wardrobe Stylist, Sarah Ward. She spent the last 20 years studying human sexuality and is certified in the VITA™ Methodology with Layla Martin and as an Erotic Blueprints™ Coach with Jaiya. For personalized support, schedule a free discovery call with Sarah.
This is published in Recapture the Rapture by Jamie Wheal.
I love this whole thing . Well done, Sarah. I often think about how powerful women are. There's no tech overlord or mad scientist or anyone at all that can do what a person with a womb can do--create a human life. With no instructions! Incredible :)
As a trans woman one of the effects of hormones I cherished was the change of smell "down there". It's one of those subtle wonders... Reading about the natural diversity of vulvae is much appreciated. I feel there's a lot of anxiety around surgery outcomes, especially in young straight trans women - I hope this education helps them. I'm happy mine is unique - as a result of my decisions and the body I was born with and a bit of chance, probably 😉